COVID-19 Diaries
After finishing up my first semester as a college student, you can probably guess how I feel. Sleep-deprived, irritable, emotional… you name it, I have felt like it at some point or another this semester. But even though going to school during a pandemic is horrible, you do learn a lot. Not necessarily in your classes, but more about yourself. In one of my classes, Interpretation of Literature, one of our final assignments was to keep an ongoing “diary” about our experience as college students during a pandemic. This became a way of therapy for me. It did not matter if it was grammatically correct or if I had run-on sentences. It was just my thoughts. The ones I am sharing are exactly 3 months apart, which I think is really cool. I feel it is interesting to look back at where I started and where I am now. Hope you enjoy reading a little about what goes on in my head as a college student during a pandemic.
9/2/20 — Currently, I am feeling really stressed. That may seem like an average sentence that any college student would say, but now it holds a different meaning. Stressed appears to be the theme of the year. First off, I started with three in-person classes, and I am now down to two. That number will most likely drop. Second off, I am already dropping one of my classes. My goal in college is to do well and be successful. Pretty broad, but that is my goal. The course I was in I knew I wasn’t going to be successful in. The course structure was at a pace I wasn’t comfortable in. My professors gave quizzes that were ridiculous and didn’t seem realistic for me. So I took the initiative and switched my class. I am now in the class I originally wanted to be in, and I am very excited. Third, I have a job. I am working for The Daily Iowan. Crazy, I know. But it is a lot of work. I am working every day on articles for the paper, usually two a week. It adds a lot to my day and makes it more jam-packed. But I do enjoy it. Right now, I am dealing with a problem of sources being too busy to be interviewed. This is giving me a lot of stress because I cannot control other people, but It messes with my deadlines. Hopefully, I can get my article out tomorrow, so it is published Friday. Crossing my fingers. But lastly, I just miss normal life so much. I forever looked forward to going to bars, meeting new friends, going to sporting events, and making crazy stupid memories with my friends. But that has now all been put on hold because of the pandemic. I actually have not left my dorm building in three days. I have nowhere to go, and I am so busy that I just stay back and work or sleep or eat. Pretty boring if you ask me. I hope to start going on runs once a day when I can get my schedule down right. This will help me get moving but also distress me. Iowa City is so pretty, so hopefully, I can take advantage of it. One positive thing, and one stressful thing, I can think of that is coming up soon is this Friday I am surprising my sister at home. Then this weekend, recruitment starts for sorority!
12/2/2020 — I am in my last few weeks of the semester, and it has gone by so fast. I am doing very well in all of my classes, and I am really proud of myself. I will make the dean’s list, which was one of my big goals. College entirely online is not comfortable, but I have been working hard and pushing myself to do well. I have been in my top sorority, Gamma Phi Beta, for a few months now, and I love it! All of the girls are amazing, and I have made some really great friends already. I also am still loving my job at The Daily Iowan. I am seeing improvements every time I write an article. That was my initial goal anyway. I am currently home right now and am staying home for the rest of the semester. I miss Iowa City, and I miss all of my friends, but it feels nice to be home. Looking back at this semester, I feel like I grew a lot. I have been through a lot since I have been in Iowa City, some things I don’t feel comfortable sharing, but they have taught me a lot. Because of some of those things, my anxiety has gotten worse since I have been at school. It is funny because it is not because of school, it is more about social things. Being with people I don’t know and don’t trust yet scares me because I have had trust ripped away from me before so many times. I have always been a person that has put others before myself. I am a very caring and understanding person, and I don’t like confrontation. However, if I am going to confront someone, I want to do it in person. Covid has made that difficult and also being away from a lot of my friends at home. There is a person who has been in my life for years and has been very close to me. He has hurt me and lost my trust many times, but because I see the good in him, I would always just let it go. Today, I had enough of the things he had put me through, and I removed this person from my life. Hearing people say, “removing toxic people from your life lifts so much weight off your shoulders,” never made sense to me. But they really do mean it. I will now stop prioritizing other people and continue growing on my own and keeping myself as my main priority. I am really proud of myself because I wanted to do this forever but never got the courage to do it. Today was the day, and it was the start of me growing into a stronger and better person on my own.
